TPTW: Laying the blame on the innocent

[nailzoo]

Unfortunately last week my dad was diagnosed with bowel cancer ......

Oddly enough this week there has been a few television programs targeting exactly that, only last night there was Jamie Oliver's "Eat to save your life" and tonight on "Catalyst" there was "Don't die young- The intestines and the stomach", both of which mention diet as a possible cause of bowel cancer.

It grieves me that now my mother (the cook) seems to be in the position of having to deflect accusation of dietary neglect....... this is relevant to all in here particularly because I was born in England and obviously have English parents.

I was always brought up on meat and 4 veg's (which apparently is the way to go). But my mother is still in the unfortunate position of thinking "is she at fault"?

To be honest (as a chef before doing nails) I always thought my mother would be better off working at the crematorium ... you English cook the crap out of food ........ yeah you do, (my mum mashes cauliflower) ... get that. But looking back it's still a balanced diet, protein carbs and all that bloody roughage in hideous pastry. They have never been into fast food or supermarket bought pre-prepared food.

I know in my mothers voice and in my father defending her, that neither of them are at fault, but still the thought is in the back of my mothers mind.

Bowel cancer is second to lung cancer .......... WELL...

Here I go speaking my mind and thoughts once more ............, but I'm old enough and ugly enough to know when to stab, and when to twist the knife.

I had a staff member 6 years ago that never smoked, yet she died of lung cancer....... go figure.....

I had a discussion (almost argument) with a client today, it goes along the lines of this.

I'm a smoker, she isn't, she drives a car, I don't.

For arguments sake ......... lets go into the garage with the door shut.

Would you rather be in the garage with a smoker with a lit cigarette for 10 mins, or would you rather be in the garage with a non smoker with the car running for 10 minutes?

Now this is thought provoking .... I'm sure I will have more to add to this thread as responses appear.

But for those holier than though.... (the Pope is in Australia as I speak) and heaven forbid I refer to the bible.... even those so called holistics amongst us, are the greenies without sin? Even those who support PETA (like myself) are you carbon neutral? Are you without environmental sin? Are you that pure?

Are you willing to cast the first stone?

Or should we all place an order for a t-shirt emblazoned with the slogan
SHYTE HAPPENS?

 

[adelekeegan1]

I think that there very few of us that treat our bodies as temples.

I know of a few people who are very very very particular about what they eat (to the point of obsession) and they obviously are teetoal non smokers too. One has recently been diagnosed with bowel cancer.

My Mother is 80 next month and eats a balanced diet of meat and four (slightly undercooked crispy) veg too. She contracted bowel cancer in her 60s and made a full recovery and yet she smokes 60 a day and has not succumbed to lung cancer. I think you are either susceptible to something or you aren't.

My father died of prostate cancer aged 59 - did he do something ?

I'm with you Carl, can I order a T shirt ?

 

[* Helen *]

When my father in law got bladder cancer 2 years ago, the doctors blamed on shot blasting metals, spraying cars and smoking ... basically they said he should have worn a mask. Some people always try to find a blame in the situation, which is difficult because how can you say or pin point it as "well its as you done this and that".

We was told it was down to diet aswell, he was told to drink green tea, stop having sugar as cancer craves it, all green fruit & veg, nuts, seeds ... you name it, if it was on the list he ate it. But it didnt save him as he died just over a year ago.

My nan died of bowel cancer 4 years ago ... they blamed that on smoking.

I would like a t-shirt too ... and give the proceedings to cancer research!!

 

[Bebeautiful]

Hi nailzoo,

you have had me in stiches I am wetting myself (for the upteenth time on this wonderful site, keep em coming :lol I love your sense of humour but on a serious note sorry to hear about your father and I hope he gets better soonest. :hug::hug:

 

[nailzoo]

My nan died of bowel cancer 4 years ago ... they blamed that on smoking.

My dads been blowing smoke out of his ass for years ( I told him tonight), maybe thats it.

I'm in good spirits and printing t-shirts as we speak.

 

[~Emmsybabes~]

Wow hun a lot to think about in this thread for sure...

My nan (bless her) smoked from a young age....when I was roughly 20 she found out she had lung cancer, it had been there for over 20 years...getting no bigger and no worse, Just sitting there waiting.
She had the affected lung removed,
Within about 3 years, she developed a completely different cancer in her other lung
( and yes there is always one ....my mums neighbour said..aww will she have to have that lung removed too :grr: )
She chose not to have treatment, and passed away 2 years ago...get this ....
ON NO SMOKING DAY !!!!
how ironic..

But !!! She could have died at a very young age from the man who used to beat her....or been run over by a bus ....
She was only in her 60's, but lived the time she had as a strong woman..

I smoke..I know its wrong..I drive I eat badly, and have waaayyyy to much salt on my dinner...

Another scenario of "pot luck" is
Me and my cousin were both pregnant at the same time 16 years old we were..
I smoked...yup I did drink occasionally too...my cravings were chippy dinners and crisps anything bad for you basically.(none of which I am proud of)

She didn't drink, she didn't smoke, and she craved salad and apples !!!!!

My daughter was born a healthy weight a few days over due perfectly healthy..
Hers was born 19 weeks premature weighing only 1lb7oz's she has had heaven knows how many operations, has almost died so many times,
she has cerebral palsy.....

Now Of course I am VERY grateful for my daughter, and think myself VERY lucky to have her/.....But you can see the sort of unfairness to it all.

I got a little carried away with the typing here hun, but this all makes me think that on occasions shyte just happens :hug:

(big hugs for you hun...xxxxx)

 

[* Helen *]

My dads been blowing smoke out of his ass for years ( I told him tonight), maybe thats it.

I'm in good spirits and printing t-shirts as we speak.

You have to be in good spirits Carl. My Nan & father in law hated seeing anyone upset because if it & they both kept their good spirits til the end!

 

[Gelly]

Sorry to hear about your Dad, I really hope you manage to make your Mum realise this isn't her fault.

So this is what I think
My loving Grandad, who cycled everywhere and never drank or smoked had three massive heart attacks before he died.... he really suffered.

My Nan has smoked since she was 9 and is fine.

My Aunt who is wonderful and kind has Cancer.

My other aunt, who is an awful human, will probably out live us all.

As far as health is concerned, I just think that Shyte happens.
Which is why I continue to smoke.... despite the almost constant pressure to stop............ Hey, sometimes I even smoke and drive at the same time!

I hope it all works out for you and your family, I will be thinking of you.

 

[Vetty]

I believe fate has a hand in things like this - I have an irony involving death as well....... My Grandad had a heart attack, was treated and recovered. He followed to the letter the advice from the hospital which involved major dietary changes among other things..... He had regular check-ups and was discharged a year later as having no greater risk of a heart attack than the average member of the population - one week later he had another heart attack and died...... Go figure!

There are always cases of those who treat their bodies badly and are fit and healthy as well as the people who are very particular and aren't - that's fate IMO.

This is a very thought provoking thread, and it's the 'blame' angle that bothers me. Why is something always someone's fault? Why should your Mum be blamed Nailzoo, for seomthing that is not her fault? Why should smokers/car drivers/drinkers always be blamed for the ills of the world? People can do all those things responsibly and yet cr*p still happens......

I'm with you on the t-shirt, and I wish your Dad well.

 

[fifitrix]

My mum died of cancer of the pancreas and secondary cancer of the liver, aged 68. She was a ways a healthy woman who was active, ate well and was an very occasional smoker and drinker.

At the hospital, the doctors asked all sorts of questions as to a possible cause for the cancer but almost everything came back no, even for an occasional smoker her heart and lungs were extremely healthy. No reason for it just the cruel hand of fate.

Can I get a t-shirt too, as it sums up exactly my thoughts it.

Big :hug: to your dad, you and your family xxx

 

[Lellipop]

My dad didn't drink or smoke and ate healthly he died at 67 from a stroke, My hubbys nan did drink, smoke and loved chips and died at 103.

I think its luck and fate more than anything else.... Another t-shirt please :hug:

 

[Tracey Roberts]

my mom died from a brain tumor 16 years ago, they tried blaming the fact that when she 1st starting having symptoms eg fits, that it was down to smoking??? wtf? even though the fact that shed been having horrific migranes since i was a very young girl,had nothing to do with it??? teah right, these doctors and consultants peeeeved me off big time,,, if they know so much about cancers and causes, then why isnt there a cure for it yet??

especially lack of faith in the doctor who nearly put my baby boys life at risk when he was only 2 months old, glad i trusted my maternal instinct,and had 2nd opinion, he then spent a week in intensive care over xmas,,
:cry:

 

[*JOANNE*]

sorry to hear about your dads diagnosis carl,
my mum a nurse and a smoker died 10 years ago age 49 from a brain tumour, heart and lungs healthy etc...she was actually gutted it wasnt smoking related why she got the cancer and felt if it was then fair enough but it wasnt and the questions why me....my cousin her mum died young to of bowel cancer, my mums other cousins have had breast cancer and thankfully have come through...i beleive its genetic...if we have the gene something can trigger it...or nothing just triggers it....(un)luck of the draw, way it is) we can live healthy reduce the risks..but if the gene is there its there (thats what i beleive).
i smoke and i fatham with the gene in the female line of the family....if its there there is nowt i can do about it.

 

[MINKUS]

Sorry to hear about your dad Carl:hug:

 

[Bagpuss]

sorry to hear about your dad ...:hug:

my dad got cancer of the oesophagus 2 years ago....he had it removed which was major surgery and his stomach is now up in his chest .. quite funny when he is full after a meal and rubs his tum then remembers its not down there anymore so starts rubbing his chest..:lol:

He has smoked roll ups for 50 years......he gave up smoking the day he told he had cancer, but the consultant said his smoking was not the cause...it was stress !!! stress IMO is one of the biggest killers. basically he produced too much acid due to stress and this acid damaged his oesophagus and allowed cancer to form.

2 years on he is doing great...and now has this liquid stuff he has to drink each day to prevent excess acid.

 

[Sals]

I found out last night a friend died last week aged 30 of skin cancer. She lived in Zambia for a couple of years and I doubt she was very good with making sure she covered up her fair skin, as she was the ditsiest moo ever. She was one of the sweetest people I've ever had the good fortune to meet. Her fault? No. S**t happens.

 

[sj1973]

Sorry to hear about your dad Carl ...:hug:

My grandad died of heart attack , my nan too....my mum is now getting over a heart attack and she has given up those ****.!!!
I have stopped smoking,so has my hubby,i have asthma and WAS struggling to breath,and i wanted to save money!!

I think sh!t happen's in life and this is why i always say "make it the best life you have EVER had, because you only get ONE chance".

 

[Zingara]

You just can't always look for someone to blame......

I was a model mum during pregnancy...no alcohol, didn't even come into contact with cigarette smoke, I ate healthy food every day, even a mask when I was applying spray tans to a client, then my six week old daughter gets diagnosed cancer. Yes, I've blamed myself before now.....I don't know why, but lets face it, she was born with it and I grew her. Who's else fault is it then if we're looking for someone to blame.

Personally I think its us...all of us, Mankind, that have brought it about ourselves, with change, development, meddling in things we should and shouldn't, everything. We have the good.....we get the bad. Yin and Yang. We have to accept it, because we'd drive ourselves mad if we didn't.

Carl, I'm sorry about your Dad.....my Dad had it 3 years ago...he's fighting fit now. Sorry if this sounds wierd, but if a man is going to get cancer in later life, then bowel cancer is the one to get....its the most treatable and has an excellent success rate. Good luck to him x

 

[Sals]

Sorry, forgot to add (can't edit for some reason) I think this is a facsinating thread and will be watching with interest.

 

[JANEY K]

Nailzoo heres sending your dad get well soon wishes:hug: i'm not going to reply to the rest as i have seen too much it over the years..some is painful.x