Are we desensitised?

[becki x]

We constantly see images of bodies covered with sheets,strewn on the street,images of death,deprivation,poverty,violence and tragedy.

In totally honesty,i have gotten to the point where i think "oh that's sad" and carry on whatever meaningless task i might have been doing.

I rarely see an image or hear a story anymore that makes me stop and think,god that's someone's child/mother/loved one.

A prime example,last week a little boy of my sons age died as he fell into icy waters,my first thoughts were what was he doing on his own ,poor mite. That's all really,how very sad is that ? Turns out my hubby is friends with his uncle,this makes it real iykwim i shed a few tears.

Then i read a friends blog,whose family member has just endured an horrific event for want of a better word,brings it home that these people who suffer aren't just people,they are someones family.

How about you ? Are you desensitised ? Is it a coping mechanism ?

 

[Gelly]

I'm not desensitised.... I spend my life crying!

 

[Zo Zo]

Personally, I am not de-sensitised to this type of thing. I find bad things I see on the tv and read in the papers really distressing, and often stuff pre-occupies my mind and keeps me awake at night, so I rarely watch the news now, or buy a paper.

I am possibly more affected by things that happen in my home town, or to people that I can relate to, so I know what you're saying about what happened to the little boy becoming more real because of the connection with his uncle.

There is a lot of bad stuff going on in the world :cry:

 

[hippy-chick]

no I'm not either, I spend a little time feeling horrified/shocked/saddened, but then a file it away as we have to get on with life and can't shoulder everything all at the same time.

I often have little flashbacks whilst I'm getting on with life; Jamie Bulger's face, a female dog and her pups abused on a TV show, 9/11, Jade Goody.

It shocks and horrifies, but I can sit and watch CSI and KNOW that it is fiction.

 

[Mrs.Clooney]

I am not sure Becki that we are desensitized, but more feelings partly of helplesness and partly of coping. We cannot fall to pieces every time we hear about a tragic situation otherwise we would not be able to function ..... which would be useless and would not help anyone.

Yes, tragic situations really do bring home how real these awful events are and how real people ( more close to home than we realize) are affected by the trauma.

I am sure many of us were in some way linked to the horror of the 7/7 bombings in London. My neighbour got off the train one station before it blew up at the next stop.

The daily news is always filled with violent crime, human suffering and death. It is awful and so, so sad that this is the society we live in :cry:.

 

[An*Gel]

I wish I could desensitise myself just a bit... I'm so bad that I've had to stop looking at the news and looking at newspapers. I get so upset about things in the news, especially when it involves children.

Although in saying that, when I hear about a bomb going off in Afganistan or someone being stabbed on a Saturday night I don't even blink anymore and I know that's terrible, but sometimes you can't help but be desensitised to some things.

 

[Martin Duffy]

I don't think we've become desensitised, I think for too long we have been divorced from the reality of what goes on, which I think is partially a mechanism to avoid dealing with mortality. Personally I believe many people avoid dealing with mortality & the more red in tooth & claw aspects of life/nature by clinging onto material pursuits where they find (short-lived) comfort.

Our ancestors would have seen the terror of illness, death, war etc first hand all the time, but they didn't become de-sensitised, rather they came to understand the reality of the mortal condition. I think we often forget that our modern society doesn't have the monopoly on hard-times, in comparison to what's happened in the past we are VERY lucky.

 

[Kelly-Tara]

Talking of death, 3 army boys have just been killed in a horiffic car crash this morning 100 metres down the road from me, my boyfriend used to be in the army, and all morning we have been trying to find out who these boys are, and if we know them. It is so upsetting.
When things like this happen close to home i think it effects me alot more

 

[The Guild]

During the 7/7 bombings I was working for a news website, and it was my job to update the website, minute by minute, with all the latest events. At first there was horror, confusion and shock. However, because this was my job and I had to do this for 8 hours, I soon switched onto auto-pilot. People were emailing photographs that I will never forget, and the number of dead an injured continued to grow, but within an hour or so, it was just work. That is part of the reason I no longer wanted to continue in that line of media.

Yesterday 6 people died in a head-on crash quite near to where I live. I know the road quite well and had seen the road was closed but didn't know why until I saw the news later. It really shook me, and I was thinking about it all night. Although terrible news, part of me is glad I still feel something.

 

[Mrs.Clooney]

Yesterday 6 people died in a head-on crash quite near to where I live. I know the road quite well and had seen the road was closed but didn't know why until I saw the news later. It really shook me, and I was thinking about it all night. Although terrible news, part of me is glad I still feel something.

You hit the nail on the head Louisa...... you still feel something. With what you described with the 7/7 bombings, you had a responsibility and a job to do. To protect yourself and to be able to work effectively you had to go into auto mode. Does not mean you don't care.

I shared this thread with my hubby today and we both agree that in his current job as a doctor and in my former job as a nurse, we could not function effectively if we burst into tears with every tragic event. It does not mean we don't care. To the contrary.

 

[Teebster]

I don't know if we become desinsitized or just adjust as we move through life to cope with the position we are in personally. I use to react very badly to life's events to the point I would become hysterical at any accident I witnessed and did not cope at all well with bad news or reports in the paper. When my children were very small people would point this out and say I would be useless in any serious situation. May be they were right but it made me feel useless and a bad mother so I made my self become less reactive to a situatuion at the time for fear of being judged and appearing not in control. This does not mean it does not affect me and by myself I will react after the event in private and sometimes this takes days to pass and can be constantly on my mind. But I do now choose to try not to watch sad or frieghtening piece of news as a coping mechanism and I think that is true for a lot of people, it is easier to try to block them out as your own life can put you under a lot of pressure but that does not mean you don't care just as much as before when you did react.

A good friend of mine has been a nurse for over 27 years now and has seen death many many times and when she worked in a hospice for a couple of years, during this time she constantly made jokes with regard to her job and events that had obviously occurred. Whilst I found this difficult because of my fears I guess, it was obviously her coping mechanism, but she is one of the most caring people I know and not desensitized.

 

[LADY STARDUST]

I too get desperately upset at practically everything on the news and in the papers that i only watch the headlines now and will continue to watch the news if there isn't anything particularly distressing!
What you have to remember now is that news is a big business it's everywhere, tv, radio, papers, mags, internet, mobile phones and it needs to be filled. There are lots and lots of uplifting stories and feel good moments that happen to so many more people in life but alas this is very rarely reported so whilst it seems there's a lot of doom and gloom around (which is inbearable to watch and listen to) there's much more good and happy times too but they're just not reported as much...xXx

 

[1999judy]

No I don't think I'm desensatised...I just thank God it's not me or my family and feel sad for the folks who are involved. I try not to watch too much on the news etc. as it DOES upset me.

 

[Kim Lawless]

Quite the opposite for me I'm afraid. I take on board and worry about strangers and the terrible things that have happened in their life. It plays on my mind and I pray for strangers daily.

In fact, because of my history of severe depression, I have to distance myself from it and then I just feel selfish. xxx

 

[hippy-chick]

Husband came in from the pub the other night and remarked that I ACTUALLY had the news on! It was only because I couldn't find the remote control!
I won't watch news and we only have a newspaper once a week for the TV supplement.
Denial? Yes.
Ostrich-syndrome? Yes!

 

[Marley's Ghost]

I don't think there are any more attocities in the world than there ever were, I can remember military coups, wars and skirmishes in the 80s when i was growing up, the 70s of course had at least 3 majoy conflicts, as did the 60s...

I think the difference is that we all now have at least 50 television channels all battling for the same sensationalist reports

We shoud never let it 'not' affect us though, as inevitably familiarity will tend to make it commonplace.

There was a famous video nasty in the 80s called 'Faces of Death'. A reprehensible little piece that glorified in showing 'real' death scenes (most of which were fake by the way), it was trimmed in the UK by 25 minutes then ultimately banned under the 'Bright' bill. What we see on TV today - even on ITV2, is way more powerful and violent than anything in that tape.

It is not about what is going on...more how we react to it

 

[Martin Duffy]

I don't think there are any more attocities in the world than there ever were, I can remember military coups, wars and skirmishes in the 80s when i was growing up, the 70s of course had at least 3 majoy conflicts, as did the 60s...

And let's not forget even further back, the Black Death for example killed an estimated 1.5 million people in the UK of an estimated 4 million population at the time. Our modern society certainly doesn't have the monopoly on suffering!

 

[Marley's Ghost]

And let's not forget even further back, the Black Death for example killed an estimated 1.5 million people in the UK of an estimated 4 million population at the time. Our modern society certainly doesn't have the monopoly on suffering!

Exactly so....you could even go back as far as the crusades for large scale pointless death (some might say).....

 

[JellyJane]

I tend not to watch the news that often, it is always someone being shot, knifed, killed etc.

What annoys me is why parents let little children out on their own, (such as the little boy that drown last week (not far from where I live) and also someone had thrown some puppies into the river in a black bag, but they landed on ice and thankfully got saved (I am a big animal lover). What is wrong with these people, why couldn't they have taken them to a dog rescue place or left them somewhere that someone would have found them. And what about the Australian fires, all those poor people that died in their cars and all the people whose whole lives got destroyed when their houses burnt down and somebody actually lit these fires deliberately, how can they live with themselves knowing they have murdered all those people.

I best not get started on anything else! cos I won't stop!! lol