Totally ticked off at daughter's Schoolteacher


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Well-Known Member
Oct 17, 2005
Reaction score
Cornwall, Ontario, Canada
Ok, I've pasted a letter below that I may hand deliver on monday.
The letter will explain the situation, so I won't repeat myself.
Please let me know your thoughts, greatly appreciated!!

To whom it may concern,

On Friday, the 7th of September of 2007, I sent a lunch to school with my daughter. This lunch contained: Snackables (pre-packaged cheese, crackers, ham & a miniature KitKat), raisins, applesauce, mini rice-crisps, and pure juice (NOT fruit drink). Arrangements have been made with my neighbour who works at the cafeteria to provide my daughter with plain milk every day at lunch and NOT chocolate milk. It has been explained that she is not to have chocolate milk as it causes her stomach upset. She is not accustomed to sweets in abundance, and can only have them on rare occasions and in very small portions. Chocolate milk served at home would be ½ teaspoon of Quik powder to 1 cup of milk. Barely even changing it’s colour. An amount sufficient enough only to add a small bit of flavour. A treat served perhaps once every month or two?

In our home it is our habit to serve plain milk at every meal. Fresh fruit and/or vegetables are also served at every meal including breakfast except for one evening a week when we order take-out for my night off from cooking.
There are no cookies in our house. No cake. No junk food of the sort. No fruit leather which is packed full of sugar, etc… Snacks/deserts are: yogourt, fruit, veggies, apple sauce, granola bars, raisins, dried cranberries, and that sort of thing. Treats are very rare, once a week or every 2 weeks. Our only regular treat is ‘ice cream’ which is served a couple of times a week. And it’s always Neopolitan, not some fudge chocolate concoction.

We are very conscientious about teaching our children good eating habits, which is why I am very angered by a situation that took place today at school.
My daughter’s lunch was a “treat” today. A reward that was well deserved. And she was punished when Mme ****** promptly removed Mereena’s miniature Kitkat from her lunch. Mereena returned home wondering what she did that was wrong. She was rightfully upset.
In my daughter’s agenda, it was written, “There is a school policy of No chocolate in the cafeteria. I have removed the kitkat bar and stored it in the front pocket for her to have at home”. What Mereena said to me when she got home was “I was saving it to eat after my applesauce”. That statement alone speaks volumes for her eating habits.

First let me point out, the statement regarding the policy is false. Trying to enforce that statement/policy is hypocritical. Particularly given what is listed on the cafeteria menu for the month. Items such as: Chocolate milk, Cake, Pudding, Brownie. I am also well aware that Chocolate muffins, and chocolate chip cookies are also available. I am most certain that my daughter’s miniature kitkat had far less calories/sugar than any of the aforementioned. (Miniature, like the ones given out at Halloween).
And pray tell, what nutritional value does jello offer?

Secondly, what I choose to feed MY child is my business. The school’s business is education. With all due respect, while I appreciate that the school promotes healthy eating habits, I deeply resent the interference. PARTICULARLY given that Mereena is a child that loves her fruit and vegetables and would gladly choose yogourt over a piece of cake. I appreciate that in today’s society, many children are short-changed while their parents are too lazy to cook, living on junk food, instant food and fast food from McDonald’s. It’s truly unfortunate. However, that is not the case in my home. And should I choose to treat MY child, it is NOT the place of Mme Leger to take her treat from her.
I have also been made aware that not all teachers/monitors remove said treats or enforce this policy.

Given the facts regarding this ‘situation’, I would appreciate that in future, my daughter’s lunch be left alone for her to consume in its entirety.
If such a policy does indeed exist, then it should be enforced to the fullest extent; removing chocolate in it’s entirety (including chocolate milk) from the cafeteria kitchens and also from children’s lunches of other classes.
To do otherwise is hypocritical, unjust, and discriminatory.

I regret commencing the year on such a poor note, it most certainly was not my intention. While I welcome any advice or assistance in helping my daughter to get the most of her education, the energy wasted on the ‘incident’ today would have been better directed at a child who truly does need to learn better eating habits.

It does sound rather hypocrtical of the school, given its kids would love to be at your school. Flavoured milk has even been taken of the menu!
I wouldnt give a letter..i would make a appointment with the said teacher and sort it out..or even call the principal and have a joint meeting. That should take the wind out of her.:)
I can understand how you feel about the situation and how the matter was handled. However,with that being said, I think that you are better off going to the school to discuss the incident with the teacher involved and the principal. The "rule" does seem abit extreme and unusual. I would certainly check it out and let the administrator know about this situation. I know that alot of schools will ask that kids put away any items that contain peanuts due to allergies and around Hallowe'en alot of schools will send out a newsletter about sending "too much" candy to school. I too would hold off sending the letter and pay a visit to the school. If you're not comfortable discussing this in person, then I also feel that a phone call is sufficient.
I agree with the other posters, face to face would be better.

But if you really do feel you need to send a letter I would recommend that you precis it, it is a bit long (sorry!) A short sharp bullet pointed letter may carry more weight.

But one more thing, that I learnt from my elder sister whose children are older and she went through all this years before me-

Sometimes you have to let things go because your girls are young and there will be soooo many incidents like this, sent to try you. And 'if' you become that campaigning mother who constantly queries and complains, it may affect (albeit unjustly) the way your children get treated by the staff at school. Don't forget, it's not just the other kids that can be bullies:eek:

I feel for you, I really do, because things like that have happened to me and I have been in an absolute rages, but my bf and my sister ALWAYS persuade me to let it go.:hug::hug::hug:
I have to agree that your letter is long winded Victoria. I think a phone call to the school would be better, or a visit so that you can clarify what the ruling is here.

We had letters home that a few children had severe nut allergies and so nothing in any of the lunches were allowed to contain nuts ... so yes a school can have some say so about what they eat. However it does seem to be one rule for one and one for another, so I think it best you find out what it really is. I think this is better rather than telling the school to butt out of your child's lunch box, which is how your letter comes across. After all they cannot cater to every child's wim ... but again I do see the hypocrisy of their policy!
As above tbh Victoria.

But also,i just want to say that regardless of your families eating habbits,school policy is just that,had they made you aware of this rule hun ?
hi ya hun, i can see your point totally on this but think also that a meeting would be better ,
james is not allowed chocolate , totally makes him hyper , i wrote it down on the form at school , have told them dont know how many times , but when kids have birthdays he still comes home with sweets and chocolate which to be honest i have to let him have as i couldnt let him be the only one in class not have any
what i am trying to say is , schools are a law unto themselves and seem to just do what they want anyway :lol:
what i am trying to say is , schools are a law unto themselves and seem to just do what they want anyway :lol:

LMAO... so true!

Don't tie yourself in knots over this Victoria because no-one at the school will give a flying f***
My sons has recently left primary school and the policy there was no chocolate and no crisps although there were also chocolate cakes etc on the dinner menu, I think the reason they do this is that some children will pick to have a chocolate cake etc with their lunch and then if their parents also send in a chocolate bar for them to eat .........Well its not good for them.
I understand your point Victoria and I would speak to the school directly to see what they say.
I dunno mate maybe a bit long? but I wish you could have brought my kids up!!:hug:
I don't know sometimes i resort to letters.. because for one i can never say what i feel at the time.. and two i sometimes get carried away!
If it were me I would send a Kit Kat to the teacher with a big bow on it!
Wow V, that was a long one! I nearly gave up myself! :hug: But I can totally see where you're coming from, and yes it is contradictory and hypocritical.

However, most schools have a few rules regarding stuff like this; our school don't allow children to have chocolate bars or sweets in their lunchbox. But they are allowed a chocolate covered biscuit ie Penguin or similar. So which of these categories would a Kitkat fall into at our school I wonder? :lol:

My advice would be not to get too steamed up, as has already been pointed out, stuff like this is going to be happening right through school, and it's going to get a lot worse that getting rattled over a confiscated Kitkat. If Mereena only has a "treat" every now and then, I'd keep it for after tea or at weekends, to avoid this situation happening again; kids hate anything that singles them out as being different to the others or draws attention to them in that way.

Totally agree with ZoZo about not become a "campaigning mother". I can still remember from when I was at school which mothers used to be forever coming in to see the teacher. Not that you would become one of those on the strength of this one incident, but it is something to bear in mind.

Save your energy for when you really need it. :hug:
Can I be my usual Blunt but honest self?

I totally get your anger...........we are all protective of our young. BUT, I think you're blowing things up. It doesn't matter what you do and don't feed your kids at home. School policy states that chocolate is not allowed in the dining hall. If you have such a strict policy of no sweets at home, and the KitKat was to eat at home, why did you send her to school with it? Also, if you have such strict rules at home, my guess is that your daughter took it out of her luch box and was looking at it salivating.

I'd leave it. You could end up looking a fool when you find that things aren't what they seem. Don't worry, about it...........have a break...........have a KitKat. You'll just draw attention to your daughter and make her feel alientated. Go and punch a pillow instead. xxx
I agree that face to face is the way to go. I hope I don't offend, but that letter could be seen as being quite offensive.

Giving the benefit of the doubt to the school by asking them to explain the policy, since you find it contradictory, would likely be received in a more positive manner. You've really gone on the attack before giving the school a chance at all.

Often these things are simple misunderstandings, but approaching it that way could cause problems for you and your daughter when you really need the school on your side, as they need you too.

I hope you don't take offense - just an honest opinion. Nobody likes to be accused of something before being given the chance to explain. Also, I think the school has good intentions with the rule so maybe it wouldn't hurt to support it. Good luck! :hug: alex
Victoria, I can understand your anger and upset totally and I bet you feel a lot better for venting your frustration.

What I would do now is one of two things - either phone the school and ask for an "informal chat" with the head OR write an abridged version of the above letter.

When I worked at a large bank in the complaints department, the long complaint letters often got left to deal with last, the reason being was that we had a procedure to deal with the incoming letters and get a quick resolution. Faced with a long letter, we would leave it till the end of the day when we had got the quick hits out of the way and then we would read the long letters.

Usually we found that the point of the letter could soon be resolved as yours can - i.e,

You are upset about the taking away of the small kit kat within the canteen when other "chocolate" options were available and also that you feel that there is one policy for the school dinner children and one for the lunchbox children.

So if I would have to write a response to you (with a complaint handler hat on) then I would apologise for your upset and concern and then address the points I listed above, we wouldn't be allowed to write an answer to every emotional point/detail of the letter and I am sure everywhere will have the same sort of procedure. All, I'm trying to say is that you may not get the full answer you want and therefore, you will probably feel hurt all over again - I don't want to see you this way :hug:

I hope you get it sorted out Victoria, your heart is in the right place and you obviously care deeply for your children - unfortunately in this day and age of politically correct, not everyone will have the same enthusiasm as you :hug::hug:

I truly agree with all of you. When I wrote it, I was still very aggravated at the injustice (hence my inclination to be verbose, but then again.... I'm usually rather verbose, as you all know HARHAR).

Since my post, I contacted the principal several times, waiting for her to return my call to discuss the issue "calmly" (now that I'm no longer pissed LOL).
IF she fails to return my most recent call, THEN I will send a SHORTER letter that is to the point, without going on a long diatribe.

I do understand that there are bigger things to fight over.... but with all the other crap in that school (which I HATE by the way), this was the icing on the cake of things to tick me off. ugh LOL
And, I truly feel its unjustice. It is something where they need to decide one way or the other.
ESPECIALLY given my Mereena's eating habits. Lunch today was baked beans, carrots and dip, yougourt, cheese and crackers, pure juice and plain white milk. AND she picked her own lunch. She even had low calorie shortbread cookies (sensations?? 100calories per bag) that hubby bought on a whim since he figured all the other kids would have similar and didn't want her feeling left out in the 'treat' department. I'm against the cookies, but they're already bought so ah well LOL

Failing that, I will walk in tomorrow morning and ask for an on-the-spot meeting.

It just made me so upset that she was in tears (witnessed by my neighbor who works in the cafeteria) and seemed bewildered and sad because she thought she'd done something wrong. In our house, if you dn't do well at dinner (don't finish it) or you're bad, you lose priveledges or dessert as the case may be. So, she thought she'd been bad.
They REALLY should have sent a note home instead of upsetting her like that. It was MEAN.

Ok, off my rant LOL
Off to call AGAIN!! ERRRRRR

THANKS SO MUCH for all your support and well-meaning words of advice.

Giant :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:
this kind of behaviour from schools gets on my nerves.

IMO you as the parent send them to school with what you feel is a balanced meal. It's up to you to take away what you feel is not right (and as you explained you rarely give chocolate as it is a treat).

It's not up to them to take away your child's snacks! What is going on. So what if it is chocolate. Are they not human? Do they not have choc once in a while?

The nursery I once sent my eldest to :Grope:refused to give him two jaffa cakes I'd sent in as it wasn't classed as a healthy snack.. (Had gone to the supermarket whilst he was at nursery, hence not sending him in with fruit).

This was also a rare treat, and they gave him other children's fruit instead.
I went crazy, rang them up and had a rant including a) he has an allergy to certain fruits, and b) do not take other people's food off them to give to my son.

This day and age it's appauling. Some kids in Africa don't even have a meal to eat and there are the authorities telling us what to do.

They should get a grip and be a human IMO...

rant over....:eek::mad:
Glad you calmed down a little lol...

I would have been as angry as you...and indeed written a long letter like you...unfortunately I couldn't have backed it up with my childrens good eating habits :lol:

But then I would have forgotten to post it as I forget to post everything...or lost it which is even more which time I would have calmed down and thought sod it!!!

I think all schools all over the world are a pain in the ass...but they look after my children for a few hours a day so I put up with their nonsense because they have a worse time of it putting up with my brood! If someone tried to take a kit kat off my daughter...she would have made so much noise and fuss they would have ended up a lot more upset than her!

Well done on bringing up what appears to be a wonderful daughter... can we swap? :lol:
I am so glad you shared your letter with us and then let it wait a little while. Just writing that letter is cathartic. I hope the school gets back to you soon. I understand your frustration with the policy esp. the contradictory part. I hope you get things straightened out. Good luck!
I remember when my youngest went to kinder garden and I was ticked that when the school year was done he came home with some crappy wax crayons when I had sent him to school with good ones ....( they just dumped all the crayons together ) if I'd known this I would have bought the crappy ones to begin with ! ....I can't imagine them taking food from by boy I would have really went crazy!:eek:

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